After a day of on and off tears, contacting lots of friends and family, talking with Mata’s family and trying to get the payroll done at work (please, no mistakes), I am drained…and still in a state of shock.

Mata should not have died today.  She was not ready…and I am not ready to say goodbye.  For the next few days (until Sunday) I can pretend ’cause nothing is different.  Right now she’s still at the hospital.  We haven’t had a memorial service.  No formal goodbyes have happened.  But she’s in my head and on my mind all the time.

I remember vividly all our phone calls and can still hear her voice and laughter in my head.  I was never at a loss for jokes or inspirational stories, ’cause Mata would send me scores of emails almost every day.  And I felt as though we were sisters as we shared all the ups and downs of our kids and families.  I don’t know how I would have gotten through the weeks after Mike’s death had it not been for Mata being there for me whenever I needed someone to talk with–and I needed her a lot during those days.

I never really had to read a book, see a movie, or watch a tv show ’cause Mata was able to give me all the details dare I mention any of the above.  She had a great memory and was extremely intelligent.  I was always amazed to hear her descriptions of minute details of some of the most obscure movies going all the way back to the 30’s and 40’s.  She read everything and anything all the time (sorry you had to miss Harry Potter #7, Mata) and went crazy emailing once she got a computer.  She didn’t know much else about computers, but she sure knew how to email.  I remember yelling at her (actually at the computer) when I would get those emails that she sent at 2:30 am!

She was always amazed at the remodeling things I did around my house and we always said that ‘someday’ I would help her refinish a cabinet in her dining room that belonged to her mother.  Seems that ‘someday’ went by and we missed it.

Mata and I spent tons and tons of time working with the Gifted and Talented program in the Pasadena School District and that turned into massive amounts of time volunteering for the Odyssey of the Mind program.  We coached kids, we trained coaches, we judged at the state level and we put on tournaments locally.  I finally quit the program a few years after Patrick graduated from high school, but Mata couldn’t give it up.  When Odyssey of the Mind split into two programs, Mata took over as regional director for the new program, Destination Imagination.  She was still heavily involved with DI up until late this past spring doing trainings and judging.  She just couldn’t give up working with the kids.

The most wonderful day of her life was when her dear grandson, Lucien, was born.  She couldn’t get enough of that little boy!  Last night I told her she wasn’t allowed to leave us until she was able to meet my new grandbaby in September.  While I know in my heart that she would have chosen to stay around till then, it just wasn’t to be.

I’ll think of her every year when I purchase Christmas wreaths.  It didn’t matter that she was Jewish, she was still going to get a wreath for her front door.  I’ll think of her whenever I see an ad for the Harvest Festival or the Decorators Showcase House.  And dinners at Robin’s Restaurant will always bring to mind the three-course dessert meal with her sister, Billie!

And so, like it or not, the time is coming when I will have to say goodbye.  I know that her friendship has made a big difference to me and she will never really be out of my life–especially when I remember her laughter.  My final thought–and the one for which I am most grateful–is that I have had the privilege for all these years of calling Mata my friend.